She once was a child who didn't care
She danced and sang and she lived life unafraid
She had books filled with numbers addresses from long walk with Mama
She had a clown and purple bear they were her companions most of the time
But at an early age she experienced being set aside
It was the harsh words of others
the isolation from playing pretend
She wasn't the right color or the right size
So she learned that meant she couldn't be part of the fun
But know she wasn't always so afraid to be herself
But life threw her so much rejection at such a young age she believed it
She believed all the lies
It would take a lifetime to come to a point of healing from her childhood experience
She loved to learn and yearned to read
Spanish came first but it wasn't enough
She was told if she wanted to be have a voice she had to learn English
So she did
She learned to read from A Bargain for Francis
The only book she owned in that foreign and familiar language
She was dedicated
She worked hard to learn and be smart
Dedication she carried her throughout difficult night in high school because none of it came easy
There was no one to help and it wasn't anybody's fault
She was the first to experience this journey in this country that was not her parents but it was her own
Mentors guided her
Set her on the right path
But at an early age she had learned how broken lives break others
Not knowing better
She was the product of such brokenness
She heard from an early age how people like her never made it very far
Violence at home
Shouting, Screaming, Cops
Pizza to sooth the bellies of 3 then four children who heard it and saw it all
School began again and no one spoke about the weekend chaos and mess
She has words now, but she had none back then
She knew if she spoke up something bad would happen and it would be the end
Silence became her best friend
Even now silence sometimes still reigns
But God was always present
Prayers at night since she could remember
And more prayers learned when Ama Angelina and Apa Claudio moved in
