Heavy

Everything feels heavy
My heart
My head
I just want to disappear
I want it all to stop
I want to not feel sad over nothing
God has present all day
But tonight it doesn't feel real
None of what should feel real feels re
I just want to dissapear

Sad always sad

How do I feel tonight?

Tonight I cant stop crying. Why? I have no real reason. I have people that love me that love me so much. But I don't feel good. I feel like nothing like no one. This is why not even the convent will take me. Its proof that none will ever want to take me. These moments of unexplainable sadness. Sadness over people who have chosen to not be my friends who have chosen to cut me out consciously or not. But it's not just that. That's the surface and I cant get deeper than that. I am drowning in myself. And there's noone to help. God I am so sorry for being this person.