Tired

Today I feel tired
My dreams plaguing me
Reminding me of the trust lost
Why
Pridefulness
How do you come back
from the past?
How do you make amends?
I feel a trauma in my heart
Heartfelt anxiety
Am I destined to fail?

I am getting up
I am forcing myself to keep going
I am going to you first
because going to others
doesn't work

Lord Help Me.

Anger

I was terminated last Wednesday. Terminated, what kind of word is that. It makes me feel disposable. I wasn't even worthy of a warning. I worked for a church, which only make the hurt and anger worse. How is it that we can treat each other like, like the work and effort were for nothing. I know its not true but that is how it feels. Yet can I blame them. Was my attitude 100 conforming to the expectations? Expectations that led to this false sense of community. I put my people first and I don't regret it, but I do regret my pridefullness not responding how I should have with more respect. I myself didnt feel respected and it takes a bigger person than me to respond that way. I am not the bigger person, but I want to be and I know God can help me I cant see how right now but I know He can. I am devestated but I try not to be or pretend I am not I am.