Lifeline: Struggling

Today and
Yesterday

I struggle

To Breathe
To Laugh
To Be

I am immersed in
doubt
of my own importance

I am overtaken by emotion

Can't control how I feel
How I deal with
the self-delusion
that I matter

Speaking truth
doesn't work
those words
don't get through

Words and more words

Feeling disturbed

So alone in a room full of people
As I talk to her and him
Loneliness still seeps in

I see you trying to break through the lies
but I am blocked and growing more tired
worn out from the fight of self vs. self

Feeling like a shell
who observes as she cracks

And Tomorrow...

                          Tomorrow never comes...

Lifeline: My Love Affair with Thomas Merton

You traveled through the wounds of my broken heart
Brought comfort and conviction along the journey

When I felt so torn
You taught me that everyone deserves compassion shown

Words in languages to me not known
brought me out of darkness
into self-realization

That I live in an age that is overwhelming but
so did you and we can only run away for so long

God calls us out

Out of seclusion
Out of ourselves
Out of everyone else

Into a deeper silence
Into His lives
Into His isolation
Into our true selves

You journeyed with me and I with you
I went to the depths of your doubts
And along the way discovered some of my very own
While you entered the depths of my soul

Led me closer to our Lord
Reinforced my love for my faith
Helped me understand we all journey

Someday we'll meet again outside of these pages
Maybe you'll know me from among the rest
Maybe it won't matter
We'll stand side by side in front of our ultimate lover
And That will be more than enough