Lifeline: Valentines

No work, no real commitments leaves time to wonder and think and thus write.

Valentines is coming up this Sunday. I love all holidays, that have been around for a while not as much a fan of all these days Facebook keeps announcing; friend day? Thanks but no thanks for the added pressure society.

In any case, I have always loved Valentines. Although, at times it has been a source of heartache, I have come to recognize that it can be whatever I want it to be. Its meaning is all dependent on me. Not a perspective I take with everything.

So, Valentines this year is just going to be even more amazing because it falls on a Sunday and it plays so well into how I am being perused at this very moment of my life...

Jesus is pursuing me so purposefully these days that I can't help but feel His love. His way of pursuing me is showing me more of the way I need to desire to be pursued by men. It is gentle, meaningful, and not hidden. He invites me to go deeper in relationship with Him and to know Him more intimately. So much so, that even other desires that I have for certain relationships pale in comparison.

So, it is absolutely perfect that on Sunday I am going to be teaching His word, knowing Him more, praising Him in mass, and adoring Him. Having Him perusing me this way is helping me to overcome so many insecurities. His pursuit has started to change and crack those parts of my heart that have not known how to let His love in all the way to the depths where I can let go and love myself and see myself as He does.

This love I am learning and feeling from Him is helping me to love those around me differently, less selfishly. It helps me to honestly desire the good for the person that I love even if it means I am not part of that person's life or at least not a part of it in a way that I desire because the desire of seeing them be the best they can be and the desire that God has for them has to be greater than mine. Different, it is so different from when I was in a relationship a couple of years ago and I thought I understood how to love. I now realize back then I had not fully grasped how to love as He calls me to love.

This Valentines I will celebrate it as the Holy Spirit leads,simply sharing love with everyone around me near and far.

Happy Valentines from my heart to yours.