Wishing at this moment that today was another day. A day 2 years ago or maybe more. Today is a day that feels like the air is tightening as if I am drowning. Everything inside hurts and I pretend I can separate my life into compartments. Inside I feel the bottomless well of sadness and I can't seem to find the footing to climb out of myself. A voice inside of me sounds familiar and reassuring telling me I can have this day and have it not be okay. I can have one day when inside I feel like I am burning like everything I am is disappearing. I can have a day when I am trapped in a cycle of self-hatred and an upset stomach at that thought that today is not another day but rather a continuous day rooted in other days that I WISH had never been.
But this is just today and I hold onto hope that tomorrow I won't feel like my mind is going to explode or feel like hiding from everyone and everything even when I am with everyone and I am in everything.
SO i hold onto HOPE
Having
One
Peace
Everlasting
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