Family may not always be what we want but it can often prove to be the best lifeline we have. How many times dont we finde ourselves seeking out to be understood everywhere possible only to realize at home might be the place where we are most understood during the crazy moments of life. I am not perfect and over the past couple of months I keep trying to make up for this guilt I feel inside. Sometimes how I feel about myself is not pretty by any means. Often I cannot see what others see in me. Accomplishments mean nothing because all I can see are the mistakes the way I was not good enough for this person or that person for this job or that job and all the insecurities play with me toss me around with no clear deatination. In the end I am left feeling out of control.
Tonight it wasnt too bad, but it was enough for me to reach out to another lifeline, my sister. She is the type of person who says what she thinks and doesnt hold back. In all honesty she can be a little scary but that is only because she loves passionately. Over the years I have realized how much she has stood up for me and I had no idea what she was doing in trying to protect me sometimes from myself. Its out of love and I am thankful to have someone so strong on my side when I am weak and cannot find my way out of the lies in my head.
She reminded me as I was struggling tonight that I am a good person and that I am worth more than I can imagine because I am a child of God. Those were the key words I needed. Maybe your key words are different and maybe the people you consider family are not blood related but when you go to them they give you life with their words. These are the people that know you defects and all and love you despite them and help you to see the good when all you can see are the mistakes. It is a lifeline that cannot be replaced.
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