Many thoughts have crossed my mind over the past couple of days over the vast conversations I have had and not had with friends and family and people who do not really know me.
Through these conversations or lack there of I have discovered, in my heart and not just in my head, that I am a person of extremes when I feel hurt, embarrassed, or abandoned. For example, if I feel hurt in any way I want to wipe the hurt out and I shut down or I try to make it all better and find not so healthy ways of doing that (imposing myself on others, shopping, eating, negative self talk) anything to avoid. But I think that during those moments instead of going to extremes like shutting down or working to erase the emotions I am feeling, I think I need to let myself sit in the hurt. Why?So that that hurt can become the catalyst for change. I am not sure how to do that well, but I know I don't want to run away from the hurt that can teach me something if I deal with it. Now it means learning to deal with it in a way that is healthy for myself and those around me.
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